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What If...... Your Head Isn't Empty? Back Cover: What If...... Your Head Isn't Empty?

What If...... Your Head Isn't Empty?

PDF E-book

by

Robert W Nelmes (Bob), BBA
Born: Oct. 9, 1955, Copyright 1997


Published by Nelfam Publishing(My own publishing company), Vancouver. BC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photcopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Canadian Cataloguing in Publication Data

Nelmes, Robert W., 1955- What if- - your head isn't empty?

ISBN 0-9682163-0-7

1. Canadian wit and humour (English)* I. Title. PS8577.E3394W52 1997 C818'.5402 C97-910475-0 PR9199.3.N35W52 1997

Printed by

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2



Dedicated to me Nieces and Nephews

Teddy, Teddy Jr, Elyssa, Shay, Robyn, Brody, Kalyn, Calder, Kennedy Ali, Arron, Tyler, Mylah, Avoly, Maley, Justine, Barbara and Shannon.

PREFACE


Do you often look up from what you are doing and wonder, What if..... I could do something different? It is a game I am sure we all play each day of the week whether we admit it or not. Since the first cave woman wondered what would happen if she had her mate paint on their cave wall, humans have questioned everything that occurs around them.

This collection of 999 'What if......?' scenerios are placed in a satirical format that will appeal to the curious nature of anyone. The conjectures are of a diverse nature, are not politically correct and touch on the inherent contradictions of our society, and of being human.

It not only typifies the ideal toilet book for inquisitive minds, but will also help to jump start others with ideas for thought, discussion, plots, novels, screenplays, business and inventions.

The collection began as an experiment in idea development. I was 40 and in the middle of a crossroad, not knowing which direction to go. The basic technique learned from numerous reference materials in the local library was to start carrying a small booklet and write down everything that comes to mind. The theory was; I would find what I was looking for in what I wrote. Over time I came to enjoy the process of writing down my thoughts and observations. It was on a beautiful fall day when I realized I had found something I enjoy doing and could share with others. A need to express oneself.

I initially thought a nothing book for the bathroom would be fun to try. But the feedback I received from others pointed to possibilities I had never considered.

While doing research in the library I found that books of a similar nature always gave the authors lengthy answer to a particular question. The problem was... I wasn't looking for their answers... I was looking for mine.

What if...... I placed the questions that assisted me in finding a path in a format that would beg for answers by the reader. Since we are all individuals it would be ideal since each scenario would likely have a different outcome for each person.

Perfect! Here was a means to help kick start the process for yourself and a way to begin pursuing my dream of expressing my creative nature.

There are a number of basic ways in which this collection may be used:

  • Read them for your enjoyment.
  • Keep a copy in the bathroom for your quests enjoyment.
  • Carry it with you everywhere... yea right... and note your responses to each scenerio.
  • Refer to it whenever you are blocked and need to break your train of thought.
  • Refer to it whenever you need to develop a new plot line or joke.
  • Picture how each conjecture would affect you personally. What would you do? How would you react? What would life be like?
  • Use is as a discussion tool at those boring dinner parties.
  • When using the collection as a tool; the most importand point is to write down your responses no matter what or how odd they are. Each conjecture or idea you imagine will lead you in another direction. Try to keep the direction you are going in on the brightside.

    The possibilities for constructive use of this collection is limited only by your own imagination.

    I have endevoured to format the collection in a manner that will serve to stimulate your mind and entertain you without information overload.

    If by reading this collection just one person develops a new concept for a novel, has a flash of insight for an invention, begins a screenplay, starts a discussion, creates a business idea, or simply smiles, then I have accomplished my goal. Please write and let me know.

    Thanks.

    PS: Royalties would be nice to. Haaaahaaaaa.

    Bob

    PS: Please note... these are just thoughts... though many reflect truth... they are not all truth. Though I have entertained many of these thoughts... it does not mean I subscribe to them. The perception a reader derives from them is more likely a reflection of the reader... not the author. That is the whole point. Perception. This is not a book about conspiracies..... haahaa.



    What if...



    We discover a drug which produces the effect of a 30 minute orgasm?

    Your husband can read your mind?

    Virtual sex became a reality?

    Your boss is out to get you?

    Men aren't trying to get laid all the time?

    Women do fake all their orgasms?

    Men are females gone horribly genetically wrong?

    A woman wakes from a coma realizing she can 'Hear' the thoughts of everyone around her?

    You did know what you want to be when you grow up?

    Your father's death bed confession reveals he was the man on the grassy knoll?

    Teenage boy's died if their erect organs weren't relieved?

    Your mother in law looked like a model?

    It is a genetic imperative for males to scratch their testicles?

    A biological accident causes the extinction of all insect life?

    Men really are after just one thing?

    There are five specific sexes?

    Scientists conclude that channel surfing is genetically male?

    The space shuttle vanishes; appearing in orbit around another inhabited planet?

    We discover the antidote for aging in a third world country?

    Jockey shorts are designed to decrease the sperm count?

    An idealistic automotive engineer develops an engine that operates on hydrogen extracted from sea water?

    You discover your head is empty?

    A university student serendipitously discovers portable cold fusion?

    Men were physically compelled to tell the truth?

    The government knows the Earth's poles are going to shift this year?

    The world was populated by angry women bent on the subjugation of man?

    Theme restaurants use subliminal video messages to influence patrons?

    Ancient wall paintings are a cave woman's desire to spruce of the place?

    Our first inter-planetary touchdown is with an advanced culture?

    The Basque language is found to be extraterrestrial in origin?

    Legislation requires the installation of computerized lie detectors on all telephones?

    Someone suddenly remembered all of their past lives?

    A journalist discovers the Pope fathered a child?

    The Pope becomes a suspect in an International Pedophile Scandal?

    On its maiden voyage: The worlds largest cruise ship explodes with massive loss of life?

    A world wide electronic pulse destroys every electrical device on the planet?

    'God' appears on all television channels... simultaneously?

    A religious cult invents time travel?

    Human beings are an alien child's faulty science experiment?

    Radical feminists biologically sterilize every male on earth?

    Human cloning is possible... now?

    An American President reveals his latent homosexuality?

    Terrorists detonate nuclear devices in Washington, New York and LA?

    A portable anti-gravity device is invented... Today?

    The Avro-Arrow had not been scrapped?

    Astral travel replaces the telephone?

    The tomb of Jesus is discovered in southern France?

    Jesus appears on the steps of the Vatican... Today?

    Lazarus surfaced wishing a doctor assisted suicide?

    A computer virus destroys all debit records on earth?

    A military coup will occur in Canada?

    Homo sapiens did not originate on Earth?

    Radical white supremacist groups strike government and community infrastructure simultaneously?

    India and Pakistan engage in a Nuclear war?

    Our first inter-planetary touchdown is with a primitive tribe of telepaths?

    Japanese corporations are secretly rearming their country?

    There is a covert plan to assimilate western countries via long term population growth?

    Japan calls all the loans in made to the west?

    Canada sells itself to the USA for $1,000,000 for each family?

    Your neighbour is Mr. Rogers?

    Quebec police officers fire upon native Quebecer's refusing to accept separation from Canada?

    A vault containing inexplicable electronic equipment is found beneath the Giza pyramid?

    The largest oil discovery in history is found in Rwanda?

    A hostile country develops a crude oil consuming bacterium?

    You live beside a lonely nymphomaniac?

    You discover your family are the illegitimate descendants of Adolf Hitler?

    While visiting your parents in a third world country... they are kidnapped by insurgents?

    You win the lottery and it doesn't change your life?

    Someone is observed levitating at will on a crowded summer day?

    A famous feminist is revealed to be a transsexual?

    The Chunnel springs a leak due the negligent use of sub-standard materials?

    The world paid Canada to hold criminals within an isolated Arctic prison?

    The space shuttle intercepts a probe containing information about another civilization?

    SETI receives a message signed... 'GOD'?

    The largest gold deposit in history is found on the northeast coast of Cyprus?

    The Anti-Christ reveals himself on PBS?

    Napolean won at Waterloo?

    The Cortez expedition had been wiped out?

    A cellulose eonsuming bacterium emerges that is impossible to eradicate?

    A biological warefare experiment malfunctions, exterminating all bird life?

    Matter transformation is invented by a religious dictatorship?

    It's feasible to grow gold using household chemicals?

    Numerous studies prove that THC cures cancer?

    You are the reincarnation of... Buddha?

    Humans are an alien colonists genetic experiment with primates?

    Leonardo DiVinci had not been a perfectionist?

    Nostrodamus's predictions are 100% correct?

    We discover France had been secretly financing North Vietnam during the US Military involvment?

    The Louisiana purchase had never occurred?

    The British used forced assimilation during their imperialistic period?

    The north American viking settlements thrived?

    We discover native north American's are an Asian/Caucasion genetic mix?

    North America had been divided vertically?

    Evolution occurs in spurts; with humans evolving in radical new ways over the space of one generation?

    The numerical disparity between races is leading to a homogenous population?

    Computerized imaging reveals an ancient technological city at the bottom of the pacific ocean?

    Scientists reveal the beginning of an ice age?

    The worlds climatic problems are the result of Russia's inability to control the weather any longer?

    Douglas MacArthur had not been fired during the Korean police action?

    A youthful Hitler had made a living as an artist?

    Edgar Hoover had become President of the United States?

    Saddam Hussien had used nuclear and chemical weapons?

    The white Russian's had won the revolutionary war?

    Marylin Monroe had been murdered by Jacqueline Kennedy?

    Japan had won the Battles of Midway and Quadalcanal?

    A comet struck the moon and changed the orbit?

    You are a direct descendant of Jesus's family?

    The are of the covenant is an alien mind control device?

    The home office becomes the norm in the near future?

    The government allows public death sentences?

    Sexual orientation can be genetically confirmed in the womb?

    A common chemicals cumulative effect causes people to begin acting on their fantasies?

    The Christian church had never denounced human sexuality?

    Affirmative action and nepotism became the norm... not the exception?

    Computer manufacturers use designed obsolescence to ensure repeat purchase?

    Celebrities are using surrogate mothers to bear their clones?

    Julius Caesar had listened to an astrologer?

    Jesus Christ had been pardoned?

    Constantine had not converted to Christianity?

    The numerous relics revered by Christians are fake?

    Christopher Columbus had not made it to the new world?

    Wolf had lost to Montcalm on the plains of Abraham?

    Japan had landed troops on Hawaii?

    The nut on the street really is talking to someone?

    The guest on TV is receiving messages from alien mentors?

    A man discovers documents proving his wife is his long lost brother?

    You are the most gorgeous person on the planet?

    There had been no prostitutes in Jericho?

    Acceptance of the unknown was the norm, not the exception among humanity?

    Your stranded in a foreign country when the poles shift?

    Ancient documents questioning the validity of Christian doctrine are discovered in Tibet?

    The last Fatima predictions are revealed?

    The chunnel is used for an invasion of England?

    The Nostrodamus predictions are found in sequential format?

    A woman deplicates the method which enaled Nostradamus to see the future?

    Japan sinks after a catastrophic earthquake?

    The President of the US has a split personality?

    A secret society informs a man he is the rightful heir to Jesus Christ?

    The world is controlled by seven of the oldest and richest mercantile families?

    All men have foot long sexual organs?

    Male breasts can be induced to produce milk?

    Women are continuously fertile?

    Jesus had secretly been a woman?

    Joan of Arc was a lesbian?

    The Egyptians had not allowed the Jewish people to leave?

    You are the ugliest person on the planet?

    Alexander the Great had died in old age?

    Hannibal had succeeded in reaching and sacking Rome?

    Truman hadn't dropped the bomb?

    Martin Luther King had not been assassinated?

    Saddam Hussien had not been so stupid?

    The soul is simply intelligent energy?

    A secret Cabal proves you to be the Anti-Christ?

    It is legal to carry a sidearm?

    Wars are secretly manipulated corporate events to test and market new weapons?

    An idealistic young peer is inducted into the Freemasons and discovers they do control the world?

    The government knows the ozone layer will diminish by 50% next year?

    A space shuttle's re-entry accident unleashes a biological experiment killing most of mankind?

    There is a 7 year world wide drought?

    Your research proves AID's is the result of a secret experiment in population control unleased upon Africa?

    Geologic changes result in the majority of England sinking?

    The polar ice caps melt over the space of 1 year?

    China declares martial law: nationalizing all business in Hong Kong?

    China invades Taiwan?

    Sun Myung Moon is the 2nd Coming of Jesus Christ?

    Jesus appears and preaches New Age Philosophy?

    Police discover evidence implicating two Cardinals in the death of a Pope?

    Ted Kennedy had not left the scene of the accident?

    Computer terrain imaging reveals Pyramids on Mars?

    The Jesus diaries are found; revealing his preference for prostitutes?

    Jesus Christ really was a King in the line of David, not a simple carpenter?

    Judas was the brother of Jesus?

    You had the power to heal?

    Reality is your thought?

    Scientific studies provide a link between makeup and skin cancer?

    Research proves that one genetic type is immune to AID's?

    The oxygen content of the atmosphere rises to 40%?

    Women desire sex as frequently as men?

    Everyone on Earth tolerated on anothers beliefs?

    Corruption is an accepted practice in our corporate community?

    The title of this book is 666 inverted?

    An orthodox Christian scientific study shows that masturbation decreased sexual aggressiveness?

    A metal artifact of unknown origin is found imbedded in rock dated 200,000 BCE?

    The comet Hale-Bopp was hiding a cloaked ship that did not intend to alter life as we know it?

    The emergency broadcast system announces an unprecedented tidal wave approaching the east coast of North America?

    Nostrodamus was receiving the Arts & Entertainment channel?

    A former Eastern bloc country annuls elections and massacres munerous demonstators?

    A born again US President shut down the UN.. closed America's borders and installed a theocracy?

    A US President is proven to have skimmed money into a Swiss account?

    A serious contender for the US Presidency is a secret member of the Nazi party and KKK?
    True, it was Bill Clinton, he still is.
    Plastic is found to alter the chemical composition of food products creating a deadly virus with a 60 year incubation period?

    Male seminal fluid is found to be an effective female contraceptive... when taken orally?

    You saw yourself across the street: watching you?

    Your on a safair when the unrest in central Africa progesses to total tribal warfare?

    The diaries of Joseph Stalin's massuese are found?

    The Pope announces Vatican archives contain proof that Christ had not died?

    A student on holiday steals the Arc of the Covenant from a small church in Ehiopia?

    A lost extension of the Alexandria library is found?

    Artifacts are found within the asteroid belt?

    The autobiography of Jesus Christ 2nd is aunthenticated?

    Alexander Graham Bell had been killed testing the telephone?

    The richest man in the world is a meglomaniac intent on controlling you?

    Justinian had not married a common actress?

    Female vaginal secretions are found to stop sperm production... when taken orally?

    Slavery had never been abolished?

    Louis Pasteur had failed in discovering pasteurization?

    Canada is the only technological country intact after a pole shift?

    Christmas had not merged with a Pagan festival which exchanged gifts?

    George Washington had chosen to become Emperor?

    Research proves that nightmares are recollections of previous lives?

    Dr. Kevorcian is the benevolent Angel of Death?

    God reveals the purpose of life to you?

    Life is simply a souls kindergarten?

    Science discovers how to transfer soul's between bodies?

    Men and women can be developed from infancy with bodily fluids poisonous to others?

    Cannibalism is a way of honoring our dead?

    Sour milk is a save intoxicant during pregnancy?

    Quetzalcoatl was a special forces soldier inexplicably transported to the Toltec period?

    One of the races on Earth are colonists from another world?

    Archaeologists discover remains of ancient colonies on the Moon?

    An autistic genius develops an anti-gravity vehicle in his garage, then goes for a joy ride?

    One company eventually does control all computer software?

    A silicon consuming virus appears which migrates by way of electricity?

    A constitutional amendment allows Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for President?

    Your father reveals your alien roots?

    An anomaly transports a modern day feminest to 12 century Japan?

    You have your body frozen and someone really does thaw you out in 2122?

    You are allowed to choose your next life?

    Technology allows us to transfer human memory to and from a computer?

    A major mining conglomerate is genetically creating human/dolphin hybrids?

    Archeologists find an occupied cryogenic chamber from a previous civilization?

    Noah had simply taken two of each of his farm's livestock?

    The garden of eden was an alien zoo?

    Jehovah's Witnesses are right?

    Jim Jones was Jesus Christ?

    The Catholic Church does control the worlds real estate?

    God had sat down and written the Bible?

    God had stopped Cain from killing Able?

    Adam and Eve had not eaten of the Tree of Knowledge?

    Jesus was 'transported' out by Scotty?

    There were no women in the land of Nod for Cain to marry?

    Joseph suffered from premature ejaculation?

    The USA really is the great Satan?

    Scientists discover a method to determine soul compatibility before marriage?

    A man proves his ability to predict the future?

    Men can fake orgasms?

    Women consumed their mates upon conceptions?

    A conservative government legislated virginity?

    Virginity was fatal after puberty?

    Society accepted female polygamy?

    Physical and mental deficiences are a karmic punishment?

    GOD is an acronym for 'Group of Deities'?

    The largest diamond discovery in history is on Baffin Island?

    Lawyers are banned from politics?

    Government leaders are chosen by lottery?

    Justice did mean 'Eye for an Eye'?

    You are already in Hell?

    It really is all just someone's dream?

    A male high school student did have x-ray vision?

    Men didn't mentally undress every woman they see?

    Women don't care how big men are?

    Women didn't know how to hide the truth?

    Everyone really is laughing at you?

    Oprah can control the publics spending habits?

    The ultra-right militias are covertly funded and trained by foreign governments?

    The 'X-Files' are based on top secret government files?

    All weather forecasters were arthritic?

    L. Ron Hubbard was right?

    Russia had not sold Alaska to the United States?

    The USA had lost the war with Mexico?

    The Vikings had not raped and pillaged?

    Henry the Eighth had remained married to his 1st wife?

    Prince Charles abdicated in favor of his son?

    All your prayers were answered verbally?

    A million dollar did fall out of the sky and land in front of you?

    Everyone knew what you were doing in the bathroom just now?

    Scientists proved masturbation caused blindness?

    It is possible for you to sell your soul to the devil?

    Your wife really is God on a fact finding mission?

    The Supreme being does have a spouse whispering in his ear?

    Politicians were subject to annual performance evaluations?

    The fountain of youth is discovered in your backyard?

    Sasquatchs really are the missing link?

    Money does grow on trees and you find the top-secret forest?

    An onion a day keeps the doctor away?

    The next step in human evolution are hermaphrodites?

    It is all just one big cosmic joke on you?

    You discover a better way to dispense toilet paper?

    Genetics proves the majority of homosexuals are simply scared of women?

    Women actually never farted?

    Mega-stars aren't over paid narcissistic juveniles?

    The Catholic Church gave all their riches to the poor?

    Governments listened to the people?

    Surfing the internet became an addiction as serious as heroin?

    You really could be electronically erased?

    The governments could be fired for going over budget?

    You had to pass a written test to raise children?

    Your pet can understand what a Christmas present is?

    There are snakes living in your plumbing?

    Your dead relatives are watching you... Now?

    You have had 10 distinct million dollars ideas and never did anything?

    Condoms really are hazardous to men's health?

    Teenagers listened to their parents and didn't experiment like they had?

    Humans didn't repeat the mistakes of their forebears?

    Everyone literally vanishes when you need help to move?

    The world doesn't end at the millenium?

    TWA 800 was brought down by an amateur rocket enthusiast?

    Beta had forced VHS off the market?

    Microsoft had turned down IBM's offer?

    Madonna really was a virgin?

    Professors really couldn't cut it in the real world?

    Banks did earn their profits?

    Your inlaws were fun to have over?

    Men always inserted the toilet paper roll in the proper direction?

    Bra's do cause cancer?

    Dolphins do have a language we can translate?

    The buffalo had not been slaughtered for our vanity?

    Royalty's blood is blue?

    Superstore's really are cheaper?

    The CIA is watching you at this very moment?

    There is a tap on your telephone?

    Big brother is watching you in the bath?

    Someone is behind the mirror in the change room?

    Men suffer menopause, but no one will acknowledge it?

    Teenagers really do know everything?

    You can get a job from the classifieds?

    Engineers do see everything with tunnel-vision?

    Employers don't hire the right people?

    There is no nepotism in the movie industry?

    Rain does cause depression?

    Humans never considered the use of toilet paper?

    Acupuncture does restore energy flow?

    An individual discovers how to manipulate their personal energy field?

    Medical advances enable humans to regenerate lost limbs and organs?

    A mysterious gas gives everyone in New York Amnesia?

    Televised executions were legislated?

    You could hypnotize anyone?

    You could get away with murder?

    Crime did pay?

    You don't enter the light after death?

    The light is the opening of the birth canal at the start of another life?

    We couldn't pick our noses?

    We could lie down comfortably in a bathtub?

    New studies show that cow manure eliminates wrinkles?

    Perfume actually is made from urine?

    Inter-racial sex gives you a more intense orgasm?

    The shopping channel is in fact selling quality?

    We boycotted movie theaters for 1 year?

    Hell is simply the endless repetition of your life?

    Foreign food aid did get to the people who need it?

    Martin Borman had worked as a butcher in Argentina?

    Coca-Cola was still made with cocaine?

    It is proven that diamonds are a common gem stone?

    It is proven that raw garlic prevents the common cold?

    You knew what your wife was thinking?

    The fashion industry is a plot by homosexual designers to make women look silly?

    The husband really did wear the pants in the family?

    Hitler and Roosevelt had met in the early 20's?

    You found 500 lb's of gold while hiking in the mountains?

    Professional sports were banned?

    The enzyme to halt aging is found contained in the brains of kittens?

    Life was a right and not a privilege?

    Electricity is linked to Alzheimer's?

    Jesus and his disciples were a radical terrorist cell?

    Fundamentalists did suddenly rapture?

    You found out an alien had stolen your identity?

    It is scientifically proven that television advertising does not work?

    We did educate the worlds poor?

    Everyone did respect the police?

    Society did simply get 'rid' of criminals?

    One strike and you were... out?

    The dream state is another reality?

    One year old children really are plotting with one another to control you?

    Valentives Day is a plot by greeting card companies?

    Boris Yeltsin is an American mole?

    Ten years from now Bill Gates discovers one of his opening day guests never left?

    Screenwriters had life experience?

    Politicians truly believe what they are saying to us?

    Men gave the world to women.. and stayed home?

    Jesus was black and wore coarse woolen rags?

    All first born must be given to the state to become civil servants?

    All redheads drank human blood?

    You had been abducted by a sorority of nymphomaniacs?

    All men were tall, dark and handsome?

    A knight on a white horse did ride up and carry you away from it all?

    A cult is simply any religion not sanctioned by accepted Christian churches?

    Pilot believed Jesus was the leader of a brainwashing cult?

    We could have personal sex trainers?

    Pedestrians realized they weren't alone on the sidewalk?

    Female Presidents of Russia and the USA personally hated each other?

    Your neighbor is lusting after you body?

    God wants you to re-write the bible?

    The international financial community called all of Canada's loans?

    We gave it all back to the natives?

    The USA gave Hawaii back to the natives?

    They found the lost Aztec treasures?

    You are granted three wishes, but your spouse has a veto?

    Our fingers were too big to fit in our nostrils?

    Advertisers really don't target children?

    Television is found to cause brain tumors?

    Small 'things' do come in big packages?

    The Earth is just an atom of a rock... on a beach... on a planet... in another solar system... within another Galaxy... of a different Universe?

    You really are the center of your own universe?

    The speed limits are meant to be broken by you alone?

    Global warming converts your 10th floor apartment into beach front property?

    Everyone does have a double somewhere on earth?

    The Earth does revolve around you alone?

    Pampers had not been invented?

    It is possible to reason with a five year old child?

    You could have any woman you wanted?

    China is planning on conquering the world by waiting for their turn?

    We could control the weather by Municipality?

    The Pope is murdered during a revelation about the Fatima predictions?

    The weatherman was right all the time?

    St. Peter was sitting at the Pearly Gates reading 'PlayAngel'?

    Communion is eating the flesh and drinking the blood... of a Man?

    New toys did last longer than a month?

    Children ignored peer pressure?

    Our first extra-terrestrial signal is an Alien movie channel?

    People bought appropriate gifts at Christmas?

    You could have any man you wanted?

    Game show contestants aren't trying to be discovered?

    Spouses really did get along all the time?

    Your wife loved watching sports and drinking beer?

    Everyone on Earth is here solely to serve you?

    Life insurance was called Death insurance?

    Scrolls were found proving to be the Radical Political Manifesto of Jesus?

    Psychologists knew what was wrong with you?

    We discover a mouthwash that eliminates cavities?

    The most successful people never were honor students?

    Florence Nightingale had been convicted of mercy killing?

    Dr. Kevorcian is possessed by the Angel of Compassion?

    You could take a pill and live forever?

    You knew you were going to die tomorrow?

    You had unlimited credit on your Visa card?

    The bank credited your account with $1,000,000 and denied the error?

    The commercial banks intend to implant chips under your skin?

    The commercial banks foreclosed on all overdue loans?

    All the worlds mutual funds collapsed... tomorrow?

    Unions are controlled by power hungry, uneducated meglomaniacs?

    The government was run by qualified, caring and ethical elders?

    Government lobbyists were outlawed in the United States?

    Scotland declared independence from Britain?

    Borders were created along a cultural basis... not political?

    The Japanese had invaded Australia?

    The Berlin wall had been built to keep people out of their paradise?

    Stalin had been exposed as a Czarist spy during the revolution?

    The United States truly is an Imperialist nation?

    It was illegal to yell at your children?

    Children began suing their parents for verbal abuse?

    Criminals lost their rights the moment they are convicted?

    A group of radical animal rights activists became stranded on a desert island with nothing to eat; except harp seals or themselves.

    Radical environmentalists were forbidden to use toilet paper?

    The liver of baby harp seals is found to cure cancer?

    We can genetically detect murderers in the womb?

    You could kill simply by visualizing thought?

    Genetics reveals that females are simply under developed males?

    Taxes had only been temporary?

    The old and new testaments show that God has a bi-polar disorder?

    The concept of hell is the most successful case of mass mind control in history?

    Your neighbour really is Mr. Dressup?

    We can animate the dead with modern technology?

    The first androids are developed as adult sex toys?

    The small, gray, big eyed aliens are humans from the future?

    You discover your boss is selling confidential information to the competitors?

    Stealth weapons fall into the hands of international terrorists?

    The tobacco companies have invented a smokeless tobacco?

    The cocaine cartels are run by secret government organization to ensure job security?

    You can acquire the inter-galactic franchise rights for McDonalds?

    David Letterman threw his rug on the desk, walked off the set, gave all his money to the audience, moved to a cabin in Montana and began writing derogatory letters the network executives signed, 'The Letterman'?

    Interlude

    Be thankful for the relatively sanitary facilities we have the privilege of using here in the western world.

    What if we weren't so blessed?

    There is an annual Buddhist festival about 1 hours drive south of Hanoi where I experienced some quite unsavoury conditions.

    Picture if you will, a single row of approx. 10 concrete stalls with simple foot wide holes serving thousands upon thousands of pilgrims.

    The stench permeates the air for hundreds of meters in all directions. Upon approach you find the holes are overflowing with excrement and urine is flowing along the cement floor.

    After a brief inspection you rightfully decide to forego the experience and procceed to use the adjacent field.

    Within 20 yards you realize the field is littered with feces.

    Understandably at that point you gingerly retrace your steps as if walking through a minefield.

    Needless to say my sphincter muscles worked overtime that day.

    ~

    The children of famous personalities succeeded without parental influence?

    Secret military space stations are no in operation?

    Tabloids are reporting the truth from another dimension?

    We believe everything we read?

    Publishing a lie earned you a week in public stocks?

    Public humiliation was an accepted form of punishment?

    Prostitution was an accepted means of earning extra income?

    The names of those caught soliciting prostitutes were published daily?

    The names of all those convicted in a court of law were published daily?

    A chip recording antisocial thoughts was implanted in the brain at birth?

    You really do have nothing to hide?

    Every bathroom in the western world needed your $1.00 widget?

    The social security safety net isn't there when you retire?

    All lottery earnings were used for the citizens benefit?

    It was illegal for the government to run a deficit?

    Benevolent dictatorships are possible and you could apply for the job?

    The coffee companies are spiking their product with caffeine?

    The wearing of eyeglasses was perceived as a handicap?

    It is feasible to send our garbage to the sun?

    Realistic computer generated movies make actors obsolete?

    Everyone began remembering their past lives?

    Holographic XXX movies were available in your living room?

    Virtual movies could place you in the scene?

    Everyone on the earth was the same color?

    The soul is an alien life form using a human a host?

    Professional sports is politically sanctioned pablum for the masses?

    Male and Females evolve into separate species?

    The public knew what went on in food processing plants?

    Your could write a book and get it published?

    Lawyers were paid what they are worth?

    Sasquatchs are aliens on camping trips?

    You were paid what you are worth?

    Doctors exhibited compassionate bedside manners?

    Soap operas reflect real life in the United States?

    The first signals aliens receive from Earth are reruns of 'The Price is Right'?

    Personal work trainers became a status symbol?

    Antibiotics do become useless?

    Ghosts became a common occurrence?

    Creams can dissolve cellulite?

    Women do dress to please men?

    Men were capable of choosing their own clothes?

    Movie stars dressed like ordinary people?

    Einstein had slept for 8 hours a night?

    Everyone used the transit system?

    Drivers were always polite?

    Money can buy happiness?

    Wearing a baseball cap does reduce a man's intelligence?

    Families did get along at Christmas?

    Our children didn't have to be afraid of strangers?

    We didn't allow special interest groups to influence government?

    The majority did have their way?

    Domestic engineers were paid the save as civil engineers?

    Capital punishment does deter murder?

    We gave juveniles appropriate punishment?

    Laughter is the best medicine?

    Simply thinking positive did give you everything you wanted?

    Everyone practiced the Ten Commandments?

    Hinduism is the oldest and true belief system?

    The ancient kabbalah is the work of magicians?

    Nuns were created as vestal virgins for priests?

    God gives your spouse what they deserve?

    Picasso had not cut his own ear off?

    Abracadabra does work?

    The Pope opens the Vatican's archives to scholars?

    We were allowed to choose the sex of our children?

    Everyone was truly honest?

    Opportunity knocked and you never knew?

    Theosophy is the one true belief system?

    The Russian's had developed the bomb first?

    Refrigeration had not been invented?

    We are being prepared for first contact?

    First contact does give us inter-stellar travel?

    Imported bottled water contains a preference controlling additive?

    There is nothing after death?

    We didn't start dying when we are born?

    A cure for all disease can be found in nature?

    No organism ever became extinct?

    We can never overcome the loss of bone density in outer space?

    All the inventions on Star Trek do come true?

    Researchers discover a link between juvenile delinguency and single parent families?

    Smiling at a woman became sexual harrassment?

    Men are harassed and abused as frequently as women?

    It was illegal for spouses to work simultaneously?

    Talk show guests were capable of speaking proper English?

    Homo Sapiens are the offspring of Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon man?

    What you hear is not what people are saying?

    Everyone is talking about you behind your back?

    The law requires you marry your widowed sister in-law?

    Murder victims families were allowed to decide and execute punishment?

    Calculators were not permitted in educational institutions?

    Terrorism does work?

    Technology renders the current airline fleet obsolete?

    Slaves had dressed alike in the Roman Empire?

    Religious observance still required human sacrifice?

    Computers do become consiously aware?

    You can trace you roots to the beginning of mankind?

    Colonel Sanders had never found anyone to try his recipe?

    Edison had given up after trying so many times?

    Blind dates worked?

    Everyone did work at marriage?

    The horse had not been domesticated?

    Velcro's inventor hadn't enjoyed hiking in mountain pastures?

    Batteries did last until you needed them?

    True democracy was practiced today?

    Russia had developed under true Communism, not a Dictatorship?

    The United Nations actually functioned properly?

    All governments agreed to put the world before themselves?

    Credit cards had been legislated illegal?

    The world monetary system returned to the gold standard?

    Third world dictators never plundered monetary aid?

    You could 'Pack it in!' and quit?

    Sunlight is necessary for good mental health?

    Benjamin Franklin had flown a kite in an electrical storm?

    Cleopatra had been an Egyptian?

    Population density is the best indicator of racial age?

    You were approached by the CIA to be an operative?

    The government does own flying saucers?

    Our universe began to merge with another dimension?

    You meet your childhood sweetheart while in desperate need of a toilet?

    You knew at 18 what you know now?

    Women didn't always complain about choosing the wrong guy?

    Corporate presidents did earn their high salaries?

    Prohibition had never been rescinded?

    You entered another dimension when taking LSD?

    Coffee advances the aging process?

    Beautiful women are dateless and lonely on weekends?

    Santa hung out in the school yard passing out candy canes?

    Development was restricted within national parks?

    Snowboarders had their own hills?

    Russia and Australia flooded the world diamond market?

    Body piercing is proven to cause nerve damage?

    You can attend your own funeral?

    There wasn't a stigma about picking your bum in public?

    Humans had to hibernate?

    The allies had not cracked the enigma machine?

    Cars could drive themselves?

    Mr. Crapper had failed to market his product?

    The wheel became obsolete?

    We could drive cars with a joystick?

    The world did agree to outlaw war?

    Cablevision becomes obsolete?

    North American children studied as hard as Asian children?

    Wedding rings are signs of ownership?

    Technology is speeding up the space time continuum?

    Politicians were not allowed to vote themselves a raise?

    Affirmative action is causing reverse discrimination in your office?

    The peter principle is alive and well in your department?

    The full moon caused a complete loss of inhibition?

    White holes produced matter?

    A cure for AID's is never found?

    Pantyhose manufacturers do have anti-run technology?

    Hair stylists charged men as much as women?

    Women's clothing wasn't over priced?

    You could be a gigolo at Club Med?

    History really was in black and white?

    Technology makes film obsolete?

    A 15% profit margin was legislated?

    Governments were required to use lottery earnings for social programs?

    The Arab oil states do own the United States?

    Women's purses do have secrets in them?

    Briefcases don't contain a mans lunch?

    Men didn't care how big it was?

    Scotsmen don't wear anything under kilts?

    You are only as old as you feel?

    The course of your life isn't predestined?

    Inspiration does occur during REM sleep?

    Men weren't fixated on women's breasts?

    Men could be trained to put down the toilet seat?

    Men enjoyed doing the dishes?

    You didn't care what others thought of you?

    You came out of the bathroom singing?

    There is a camera behind the mirror?

    Women didn't care how much money you made?

    It is a curse to be good looking?

    Inheritance tax isn't a case of double taxation?

    All registered citizens exercised their right to vote?

    Professional wrestling was real?

    Women did prefer nice guys?

    Women didn't want someone just like daddy?

    Blondes really don't have more fun?

    The gene for red hair is linked to temper?

    The public didn't put celebrities on pedestals?

    People cared as you got older?

    Western society did respect the elderly?

    Cloning gives us the ability to grow steak in the kitchen?

    All processed food was fortified with prozac?

    Processed food had never been fortified with vitamins?

    Horror writers did not release their demons on paper?

    Foreign student associations are recruiting moles?

    Foreign aid wasn't supporting third world dictators?

    Scientific advances were shared with all humanity?

    The old testament had depicted a benevolent God?

    By reading these words you joined the legions of the Devil?

    You could have sex anywhere and anytime you wanted?

    Women did enjoy giving massages as much a getting?

    Women are sharpening their finger nails?

    Men could express emotion like a female?

    The minotaur had simply been a genetic experiment?

    You have the answers to all the worlds problems?

    Life's purpose is to realize there is no purpose?

    There is an international conspiracy to assure annual clothing obsolescence?

    It wasn't human nature to control others?

    You can become the most powerful person on the planet?

    Designer clothing contains an addictive addictive chemical absorbed through the skin?

    The public are quite capable of making their own decisions?

    Rich people are better than everyone else?

    Celebrities really don't wipe themselves?

    You could use this page in an emergency?

    Children did clean up after themselves?

    Radio talk show Doctors are right?

    Your generation hadn't screwed it up for everyone?

    All of our children never amounted to anything?

    Your whole family lost everything?

    You did have to start living off the land?

    The diameter of your personal Universe is 3ft?

    The Earths orbital duration changed to one month?

    The largest oil discovery in history is found in Antartictica?

    The Earth's rotation increases by one half?

    There is a black hole at the center of the Earth?

    Neighbours really were considerate to one another?

    You actually could die from a hangover?

    The Earth's rotation changed direction?

    Your dreams do indicate mental illness?

    You were allowed to have yourself stuffed after death?

    Your boss really is brain dead?

    Political correctness allowed you to be proud of your heritage?

    American's did know where Canada was?

    American's do need a jacket at the Canadian border?

    Canadian's really do live in igloos and use dog sleds?

    Canada let the USA develop their own comedians?

    Canadian bacon really is better?

    American's truly are the fattest people on Earth?

    The British did have stiff upper lips?

    Germans did have square heads?

    Australians did speak English?

    The Scots had conquered England?

    It was socially acceptable to relieve yourself in public?

    The toilet and washroom were in separate rooms?

    We didn't have to lock our doors?

    Automobiles were not designed to exceed the speed limit?

    Everyone took responsibility for their own actions?

    Children didn't need you when you answered the telephone?

    You could have five minutes of peace in the bathroom?

    Your children weren't as good at sports as you were?

    Men were genetically capable of asking for directions?

    Men actually enjoyed doing the dishes?

    Handy Man is an oxymoron?

    Women could drive from the backseat?

    Some women really do have the toes of pigeons?

    The Earth's geological plates began moving a 1 mile an hour?

    Canadian's have an identity?

    You can be replaced by a battery powered device?

    You could control your life with a remote control

    Dog's are man's worst enemy?

    Men walked around town in long underwear?

    You needed a license to drink?

    Christmas was celebrated only once a decade?

    Animals are capable of sensing evil?

    Wearing glasses did make you more intelligent?

    Swimming in winter did lengthen your life?

    Pets really are manipulating you?

    Time could be conquered by traveling east very fast?

    Your time line just changed?

    Men could perform at will?

    Pedestrians were considerate to one another?

    Children do play in another dimension?

    The meek inherit the Earth?

    Survival of the fittest is a genetic reality?

    People began to look like their pets?

    Whales begin fighting back?

    The lost tribe of Israel are the Aniu of Northern Japan?

    A bacterium appears that deteriorates the structural integrity of cement?

    The Earth's gravity decreased by 1/2... today?

    Inter-clique dating was permitted in High School?

    Your homes plumbing is backing up right now?

    Photography really is capturing part of your soul?

    You are chosen to have a one hour talk with the leader of your country?

    Humans had to migrate south every winter?

    Possession really is 9/10's of the law?

    Kitchens were designed with enough counter space?

    Gutenburg had not invented moveable type?

    The Psychic hotlines were accurate?

    You really do have multiple personalities?

    Two years of public service was mandatory?

    We could hide behind sunglasses?

    The Earth's gravity suddenly increased by 1/2?

    Celcbrities can hide behind sunglasses?

    Children did vanish when hiding their faces?

    Artists didn't wear berets?

    We will be wearing form fitting tights in the future?

    Your autobiography was interesting?

    You did have a yellow streak down your back?

    Your family became homeless?

    The Earth is an alien adventure holiday?

    Gravity is simply energy at love vibration?

    God truly testing you for a higher purpose?

    Everyone does have a specific purpose that will benefit mankind?

    Life is merely the evolution of Universal Thought?

    Every religion does have a different God?

    We didn't try to keep up with our neighbours?

    The suburbs are a karmic?

    Humanity wasn't territorial?

    Women don't sweat, but transpire?

    The drunk on the street does predict your future?

    Chaos theory is the mathematical representation of karma?

    Finanacial adversity does build character?

    Social Security is a legal pyramid scheme?

    We boycotted paying our taxes for two years?

    God had made Eve first?

    You didn't procrastinate all the time?

    You did use your time effectively?

    You did make time to smell the roses every day?

    Everyone does have equal opportunity?

    Unemployment recipients only received the amount they contributed?

    Insurance rates didn't discriminate against single males?

    Unethical business dealing were a criminal offense?

    Christian fundamentalists gained control of the media?

    The Earth was a perfect sphere?

    Your local student union is a terrorist front?

    Your best friend is a subversive environmentalist?

    You discovered your sister was spiking trees?

    vv You brother told you he was a serial killer?

    Your relatives were plotting to commit you?

    Committing yourself was a good way to get a rest?

    CD's are obsolete in two years?

    The automobile is classified as a dangerous weapon?

    Astrology does work?

    Men are as good at sports as they think they are?

    A private investigator was charged with stalking?

    A foreign diplomat kills your child in a it and run, then claims diplomatic immunity?

    You slept in and nobody noticed?

    A victim's father inadvertently saves the life of a serial killer?

    One of five executives on a survival retreat is bent on promotion by elimination?

    Scientists discover a method of learning by osmosis?

    Evidence is discovered indicating the Earth's atmosphere is the result of terra-forming?

    Someone can be held responsible for their actions in a previous life?

    A pedestrian's innocent comment 'What a terrific idea!' changed the world?

    The Sasquatch myth began with your great-grandfather on a drunk?

    A man helps an elderly lady in Hyde Park who turns out to be the Queen Mother?

    An innocent encounter with a celebrated scientist results in the theft of a revolutionary idea?

    A device for tracking geological faults reveals an unprecedented number of ancient structures?

    The President of the United States is convicted of sexual assault and sent to prison?

    Someone capable of detecting 'Evil' auras assassinates the leader of his church?

    Four children playing with pellet rifles precipitate a world war?

    Human communication is the physical exchange of energy?

    Males had been conditioned to visit the toilet in pairs?

    Public toilet stalls were not enclosed?

    A deathbed confession reveals your grandmother was Eva Braun?

    Bodily functions were not social taboos?

    You came of of the bathroom naked?

    We were required to choose the length of our life at the age of 21?

    We were required to change career's every 10 years?

    Everyone was required to display ribbons indicating specific criminal convictions?

    Drug corporations were conspiring to conceal an inexpensive cure for cancer?

    Scientists reveal that silicone is not the cause of breast augmentation failures?

    The art of conjecture is a form of precognition?

    Heart specialist announce that excess exercise accelerates aging?

    Studies prove that trying everything in moderation is the key to long life?

    Society still required the segregation of females during menstruation?

    A number of research studies connect specific television shows with the deterioration of the family unit?

    You have the opportunity to ask the Pope one question?

    Technology is developed that enables the recording and viewing of dreams?

    Medical researchers ultimately announce that everything we eat contributes to cancer?

    A group of young children in a public park begin bowing to a homeless child?

    Your soulmate walked by twice... and you never did anything?

    The President appears at a press conference with his fly undone?

    Research links the increase in homosexuality with the appearance of the feminist movement?

    Louis Farrakhan really does admire the works of Hitler?

    The million man march was the brain child of Muammar Gaddafi?

    An adored televangelist is proven to be funneling money to ultra-right militias?

    Major international corporations employ their own Mercenaries?

    Politicians were required to have clean closets?

    Work in exchange for welfare programs develop into forced work camps?

    A link between institutionalized welfare and modern slavery is verified?

    Chinese extremists kidnap the Dalai Lama, then place him on trial?

    Switzerland is covering up its complicity in the theft of Nazi plunder during the post war period?

    A famous athlete is kidnapped, raped and left for dead by four under age girls... and nobody believes him?

    A personable serial killer is keeping his victims heads alive with heart-lung machines?

    You failed to invest in a friends radical idea and it became a world-wide phenomenon?

    Congress had declared Franchising an illegal scheme?

    Boxer shorts actually transform men into swingers?

    A diplomatic courier discovers he is being used to transport material implicating his Ambassador in the murder of children?

    Rich people don't put their pants on one leg at a time?

    Your double's face appears on 'Americas Most Wanted' and your friends report you?

    An anonymous acquaintance turns out to be the most trusted advisor to the US president?

    The Dental Association is conspiring to conceal the knowledge that a specific vegetable will eliminate cavities?

    Numerous studies finally prove that civil servants are the educational and corporate system failures?

    The general public are entitled to payment for advertising products and companies on their clothing?

    Major corporations eliminated unofficial dress codes?

    Men were allowed to dress as simply as women in the corporate environment?

    The government genetically determined profession at birth?

    A tourist stumbles upon an American deserter in Vietnam?

    A past President became a homeless person?

    The participants of a small grad party all begin dying of the same disease 25 years later?

    Your dog is the dumbest animal in the world?

    Your mate is an alien deep cover mole?

    Legislation requires screenplays to have original story lines?

    Advanced computers are capable of projecting the future; by correlating the data on the populations mass psychological profile collected from bank cards?

    Couples adhered religiously to their marriage vows?

    The son of a respected religious leader discovers numerous bodies while renovating the basement of his father's house?

    The soul of every living thing has been cognizant since the inception of the universe?

    Men didn't try every line in the book on weekends?

    Married women don't have a many affairs as men?

    Men were forbidden to purchase lingerie for women?

    Scientists discover a female gene that links shopping with ancient gathering?

    Skirts were invented by men... for ease of access?

    Early explorers had made love doggy-style?

    The missionary position was the result of less than devout priests?

    Your immigrant forefathers had been deported for being different?

    City archives prove your family is the rightful owner of the downtown core?

    A qualified person was laid off to make room for affirmative action quotas?

    Female peers could put aside business disagreements over a drink?

    Corporate uniforms were legislated?

    Midshipmen had been given handkerchiefs?

    The cross on a US Marine officer's cap is a target?

    Fitness fanatics are the first to die during the next famine?

    A book you write is the impetus for Global understanding?

    The Panama canal had been constructed 100' wider?

    Someone understood an obscure language and overheard a plot to kill a spouse?

    Monosexuals demanded their rights?

    Bachelor's were deemed anti-social?

    North American housewives formed a union?

    A blind quadriplegic deaf mute became the worlds preeminent international mediator?

    There really is nothing in the realm of human imagination that is impossible?

    Welfare recipients tried to form a union?

    We cared about the plight of our homeless more than the hardships of the third world?

    The male children of lesbian couples do grow up as very confused people?

    Researchers discover a link between double income families and violent youth crime?

    Scientists discover a link between seasons and intuitive thought?

    Psychologists discover that long term couples become one personality?

    Humanity's deadwood never immigrated?

    Scientists discover the acceptance of change is proportional to one's knowledge of the world?

    A pigeon flies in your window with a message from an MIA?

    National hysteria prevented single males from interacting with anyone under legal age?

    A drug is developed that enables a human's sense of smell to be increased 10 fold?

    An aberration gives an individual the ability to hear as well as a dog?

    Scientists develop a contact lens with the capability of zooming?

    Miniaturization results in a hearing aid that translates?

    Future archeologists unearth the long buried remains of Mount Rushmore?

    The Torah contains a secret code detailing the meaning of life?

    Eco-terrorists cause a nuclear accident with enormous loss of life?

    A Greenpeace protest causes an oil spill larger than the world has ever seen?

    Research shows that Men's Clubs actually decrease violence against women?

    Only native born citizens could be employed by the immigration department?

    North American's begin immigrating to Africa and Asia?

    Western Canadian's began moving to Quebec enmasse?

    Black American's were granted self determination?

    The decision made by the World Court were binding?

    Spain had fired upon a Canadian vessel during the Cod wars?

    Your neighbours are Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy?

    Fashion is on a 30 year cycle?

    Anvil tossing became an Olympic sport?

    Teenagers died if their parents didn't by them the latest fashion?

    Over priced running shoes can make your child jump higher and run faster?

    Professional hockey players settled disputes like men... not children?

    Western society glorified academic achievement rather than athletic ability?

    Corporations used Nobel Prize winners as spokesman?

    The Government provided more scholarships than student loans?

    Research studies show that celibacy prolongs life?

    Heaven is whatever you wish it to be?

    Suicides receive special caring treatment in the afterlife?

    Hose who judge in this life, are doomed to live the lives of those they judge in the next?

    Bugsy Siegal had become a movie star?

    Research demonstrates a link between driving and the temporary loss of intelligence in men?

    You really are the only good driver on the road?

    Any day you wake up is a good day?

    We didn't need death to remind us of the Gift of Life?

    Life isn't as valuable as lawyers would have us believe?

    A top bank official exposes institutional complicity in the setting of credit card rates?

    The leader of your country can be bought by foreign businessmen?

    Economists could predict interest rates?

    Automobile manufacturers are concealing anti-theft technology?

    A female combat infantry officer is raped by subordinates while on patrol?

    Television stars were able to patent their hairstyles?

    Country musicians were happy?

    Everywhere you go someone believes they have seen you before?

    As a young man you got drunk with the heir to the Saudi Throne?

    Each hemisphere of the brain harbors either a dominant or submissive personality?

    Voice messaging is a conspiracy by telephone companies to increase call length?

    The United States was a true democracy?

    The United States repealed their constitutional amendments?

    Male circumcision is child abuse?

    Studies show a higher proportion of women abuse their spouses?

    The fall of the Saudi Arabian Royal family reveals wide spread white slavery?

    Legislation banned the televising of sports on Sunday?

    Advances in technology eliminate the need for life attendance at sporting events?

    The owner of an island in the Puget Sound declares sovereignty?

    Political correctness necessitates the elimination of statutory holidays?

    You really are indespensable at work?

    English was spelled phonetically?

    More children die being driven to school that are murdered?

    The rights of the many override the rights of the few?

    The depletion of the ozone layer causes the evolutionary elimination of the Caucasian race?

    Society rewarded individuals for origional thinking?

    The Russian mafia gained control of the duma?

    Humanity cared more about the qualitity of life than possessions?

    Convicted criminals have more opportunity than the poor?

    The United States is still pursuing Manifest Destiny?

    Social Democrats truly believe that Conservatives are Fascists?

    Idealistic young socialists do evolve into elder conservatives?

    Universities were abolished in favor of cooperative education and apprenticeship?

    The pilgrims had instituted a theocracy?

    The educational system required the study of all religions?

    The President declassified all historical records?

    The rarest coin in the world is in your penny jar?

    Your private collection of doohickies is worth a fortune in 50 years?

    Restructuring of the United Nations reveals wide spread embezzlement by third world representatives?

    Women realize they do not have the power to change men?

    The issue of 'Lesbians who beat up transvestites' is of world importance and must be discussed on television?

    Violence was considered more offensive than the naked human body?

    Cuba joined the Canadian confederation?

    A routine examination reveals you to be the first person discovered with an alien implant?

    Everyone understood body language?

    Society required convicted criminals to clean up garbage?

    Everyone donated 8 hrs per week to helping the disadvantaged?

    The United States never converts to the decimal system?

    Technology enables the use of true referendums in determining electoral results?

    The definition of absolute freedom is 'Anarchy'?

    The United States did change its currency?

    Lawyers could not hide behind client privilege?

    Elitist universities are not any better than local colleges?

    Hopelessness in youth is an historical indicator of global war?

    Welfare recipients were required to serve two years of public service?

    A prerequisite for marriage was a compatibility test?

    Bachelors over 40 really are the nice guys?

    Western women refused to have any longer?

    Women could no longer control men with sex?

    Bottles water manufacturers get together once a year and have a good laugh?


    Final Thought

    An interesting encounter occurred while editing that serves to illustrate the contradictory nature of the human condition.

    On one of the first sunny spring days I decided to gather my material and abscond to the balcony of a local gathering hole for a well deserved pint.

    An individual at the neighboring table was repeatedly glancing at the large question mark on the cover of the past-up. His curiosity finally compelled him to investigate. He leaned over and asked, 'Excuse me, but why would you want to question anything?

    The question itself was a contradiction. Here was an individual totally oblivious to the fact that he was unknowingly doing exactly what he perceived to be pointless.

    He was trying to understand in the only way possible... by asking a question.

    When we stop questioning... We stop understanding.


    What if...

    Regardless of race, culture, religion, nationality or ear size, we took the time to ask questions, listen and understand one another rather than tolerating that which surrounds us.


    What if...

    Tolerating another is simply repressing a state of intolerance.


    What if...

    Understanding is as simple as listening to the answers to the questions we ask.


    It is simple!

    No unauthorized use permitted

    Content and website Robert W Nelmes, Skier and Creative Artist (Domain names: www.rwnelmes.com, www.rwnelmes.ca, 2009-present), creative milk productions.

    Copyright (c)1997, (c)2004 and (c)2009 to the present relating to creative content and website in perpetuity.

    By myself, Robert Wayne Nelmes, Born Oct. 9, 1955, Powell River, British Columbia, Canada.

    All rights reserved.

    All creative content and videos are my proprietary intellectual property, you may listen, view, read, save at your liesure but no commercial use or duplication is permitted without my express personal authorization.

    I have given none.

    Site began May 2009, hosted by Namespro.ca server, then moved to ABC Communications server then to Google Drive server, now at BCweb.ca server.
    Site hosted by www.bcweb.ca, Smithers, BC, Canada. ~ Oct. 27, 2016 to Nov 2019, Mar. 2020 to Present.

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